I’d like to share with you this amusing story of a very good, long time friend of mine who’s priorities I had to persuade to re-organize and see clear of what actually was important to him. Keep in mind he’s a friend I’ve had for many years. I introduced him to his wife, so I’m able to badger, ridicule, and deprecate his golf abilities in an amusing manner. We always have fun, and lots of it.
The Tomahawk Chop
During some post round ribbing after a dismal exposition of what golf is supposed to look like and how it supposed to be played my good friend told our playing partners and me “I can’t take it anymore”. I told him, “I couldn’t either”. He said, “Hey, Mr. All Pro Golf Pro, (he calls me that because he’s a wisenheimer) what are you upset about”. I said, “If I brandished a tomahawk chop like the one you display every time you swing the club I couldn’t take it either, besides you just have to live with the result. We’re the ones that have to look at it”. We were all cracking up because that’s what he called his swing, but acknowledged the amusing commentary held some validity. He actually had bent most of his shafts in his irons from “tomahawking” his club into the fairway or tee box after almost every pass at the ball. And because he hit it so crooked most of the time, it was just routine for him to bury the club after practically every swing he made. It was now just a part of his swing. It got to a point that we’d razz him about how his tomahawk chop had great timing and rhythm and it was the only thing that looked good in his swing. I started asking him if I could take some tomahawk lessons from him. And that maybe we could make a trade, I’d give him some golf lessons and he could give me tomahawk lessons. I think my provocation that day finally gave him an infinitesimal interest in a golf lesson with him replying, “Hey Mr. All Pro Golf Pro, if I start taking lessons from you that means I’d have to practice, then I’d expect to be better. Besides I don’t have the time anyway. I’m just happy when I brake 100″. I let him know he needed to see his swing on video just once. Besides why should he get a pass at observing something so tormenting. He’s the one producing it. We all agreed.
Well, the day finally arrives. He lastly shows after years of golf lesson prohibition. I even offered my services pro bono (hey, he’s a very good, long time friend and besides it was for the public good). Anyway, I get him to warm up a little and could clearly see that this was a sub-conscious move. He was really working at it, that is, not to present that “tomahawk” during his lesson. Well, we never even made it to the chop. As we’re evaluating his swing on the monitor I see bewilderment on his face. He watches for a couple of swings and then finally asks me, “When are you going to show me my swing?” I said, “That is your swing!” “What the @#$%*!, that’s not me. That guys doing the Japanese ojigi at address”. I asked him, “what the heck was the Japanese ojigi?” “You know, their bow. And it’s not the informal bow, but the type of bow that signifies a respectful greeting bow, a deep gratitude bow, an a apology bow, or asking for favors bow. You know, that real deep bow”.
Well, needless to say he was so dejected by the look of his spine angle (Japanese ojigi) at address, he said “That’s embarrassing! I’ve got to change that! I can’t believe I address the ball like that”. Well that’s what we worked on. And believe me, his address looks 100% better than it did before. While the boys all commended him (and me) for working a miracle on his address, their not embarrassed for him anymore by his mastery of the Japanese ojigi.
The chop, well, it’s still there when he hits it crooked. But, we wouldn’t want to get rid of something that brings him and us so much entertainment. I mean, he’s authored that chop. It’s a commemorative memorial to a golf shot that’s gone awry.
So remember, If you’ve got a friend or loved one “that can’t take it anymore” or if you “can’t take it anymore” go ahead and purchase them a golf lesson. I’ve got plenty of packages from the half-hour lesson to a one or two day customized golf school. There are convenient golf lesson gift certificates available you can purchase through the website.
I promise, we’ll keep it professional. We’ll get them so they “can take their swing” whichever course they play.
